The Stages of Motherhood: Mother’s Day Reflections

Happy (early) Mother’s Day! I hope your day/weekend/month is filled with so much love. As I’ve reflected on the different stages of motherhood, I think we can all agree or admit that all we really want and need is to feel appreciated. We want to feel seen and appreciated because a mother’s love and service often feels unnoticed. SO I hope you feel so loved, seen, appreciated, and reciprocated today.

I feel like it was a literal blink of an eye that we went from, “All I want this Mother’s Day is to go pee or eat with two hands to all I want is to just be home, everyone to be home.” I will likely be spending Mother's Day at the soccer field, or rather, driving home from a different state. Sort of like my husband will likely spend Father’s Day at the volleyball gym for nationals. It’s just the stage of life we are in. And while I say I’d rather be home with everyone, I get a lot of joy in watching our girls do what they love and are good at and compete at high national levels. As collegiate athletes ourselves, our hearts are filled when we're supporting our kiddos reach for the same goals.

The Early Years: Finding the Sweet Spot in Motherhood

I remember during the pandemic, I had this wisdom: “This is the sweet spot.” Our kids were 4, 7, 8, and 10, and they loved playing together, no matter what we were doing. Our COVID purchase was our lake cottage, and it was the greatest blessing to spend so much carefree downtime when our ages aligned. I kept saying: We’re in the sweet spot of parenting. A little independence, still an early-ish bedtime, everyone was thriving, all water safe, all really enjoyed being kids, and little, still so much pretend play, etc. And for us, our parents were still pretty young to enjoy our sweet spot too.

The Teenage Years: Navigating Busy Schedules and Big Changes

Fast forward six years, and it’s like trying to steer a train with no tracks. This stage of life brings mega independence, life decisions you can never get back, grades in school matter, REAL LIFE, on top of aging and changing parents. I’m almost 42, and I honestly can say I yearn for the sweet spot again. Heck, I even yearn for a few days of Groundhog Day, where they were all babies and every day looked the same, and we were all in bed before the sun set. The biggest decisions we made in these stages were whether to go to the beach, pool, or lake. Yeah, we lived in Mission Viejo, and the options were endless for where to swim and play during the day! 

Now, I can barely keep my head on straight about what state I will be in each weekend, what time zone (heck, it’s mostly eastern time), and where everyone needs to be. Not to mention the 90 uniforms. I kid you not, each sport requires at least five uniforms, which is quite different from when I was a kid playing AAU, and we had one reversible, mesh jersey top, and we got to wear whatever shorts we wanted. It’s all too much! I remember entering the stage of travel sports, and my husband's comment will stay with me forever: “I thought you’d be better at this.” Yeah, 6 and 7-year-olds having practice 3 times a week with weekend tournaments and psycho parents that thought Stanford was coming to recruit at our games did not sit well with me. IT’S ALL TOO MUCH, especially starting so young. Yet, here I am mentoring people entering this stage of life with a very similar strategy… But I say, get their foot in the door, only do it if they love it, don’t be afraid of not being on a top team. There’s more flexibility on a second team, as well as more chill parents. Haha, that was a little off track, but it’s on my mind, so I thought I would share. I literally mentor one person a week on ‘how we do it.’ 

Balancing Motherhood, Health, and Real Life

So yeah, you wonder why I have to be so diligent about food, movement, foundational support, sleep, the nervous system, and such. It’s a lot to keep up with at the ages of 10, 13, 14, and 16. That’s right, driving will offer a new set of prayer strategies you didn’t know you had in you. Remember when you had a baby and you just prayed and prayed you could keep them alive and well and be a good mom? Similar to having a driver… thankful for Life360 to be able to track everything. She’s already lost driving privileges for one week due to data from that app, but it’s sooo nice to know these things, and it provides so much comfort to know she has arrived safely. I’ll say, the first 9/10 years of parenting are so much more flexible and flowy, while the second 9 have proven to be more structured and demanding than I ever imagined, and I have really easy teens besides their travel schedules. Like, how am I old enough to help my child choose a college, get recruited, and so forth? But grace comes when you need it. It’s what I tell people… it always works out. 

A Mother’s Day Prayer for Moms in Every Stage

I want to leave you with a Mother’s Day prayer from my heart:

Jesus, I consecrate every Mama reading this right now. Regardless of their stage of motherhood, Lord, you have called them by name and chosen them to be the one and only Mama for their children. I bless them to understand how much that means, that you entrusted them with the greatest job in their world. Bless them to feel special, appreciated, and seen at their stage of motherhood. Bless them to stay pure of heart and close to you. I especially want to lift up the new mamas and the discouraged Mamas this year, Lord. I pray they feel comforted by you. In your name, Lord, we pray! Amen.

A Simple Mother’s Day Wish

I hope you enjoy yourself, a healthy treat from The Feel-Good Way, or my favorite that I likely won’t be able to have this year… Strawberry shortcake. 

If I could have the perfect day, it would include my detox bath with a good book, which I just finished House of Glass… whoa!

It would include church and a coffee from Coffee House in Franklin. 

It would include a nice walk or hike, and if I felt like it, a good resistance workout too. 

It would include a red light session.

It would include not having to cook or even think about cooking all day long. Oh, and not cleaning the kitchen. 

If I could have one thing, it would be a perfectly clean car! I’m pretty basic, what can I say?

And I guess that’s motherhood, isn’t it? Every stage feels full in its own way, whether it’s slow and simple or fast and overwhelming. The sweet spot shifts, but the love never does. So wherever you find yourself this Mother's Day, I hope you can take a moment to breathe it in, to feel proud of the way you’re showing up, and to know that what you’re doing matters more than you probably realize.