Raising Teenage Girls: A Raw Reflection on Motherhood, Faith & Letting Go

It feels like a long time since I’ve shared the real and raw updates of the season of life I’m in. When the girls were younger and home more, it felt like I had more time to reflect and share with you all. It’s crazy what the teenage years have brought, and honestly, not what people warned me of. At least not yet. I also feel like the COVID years made me so much more introverted, private, and introspective. We also moved across the country, and real-life connections took priority over online ones. I have such a full life here between family, friends, work, networking, community, and a workout studio; I just didn’t pour my energy into the online space. Not bragging, just sharing how the fullness of our life here in Tennessee also kinda reminds me of how empty I felt in Southern California. Back in CA, I definitely used my online space to distract my mind. I haven’t gone there before, but if you would like me to share why we moved and what it solved for us, I’d be happy to offer that transparency. 

Back to my life as a mom of teenage daughters. I was warned of girls becoming women and the intense emotions, suffering, and pain that come with that. But that transition has been nothing like what I went through as a teen. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a transition. It’s still a developmental change! Here’s a huge observation: You know how, when kids are around ages 2-3, people call them threenagers? That’s how I feel about teen girls. They revert back to toddlers, and here’s what I’m noticing. The cycles they experience now are nothing short of beautiful. Nothing was genetic here… I had horrible cycles and horrible symptoms, and so far, so good here. I guess you can say we did things a little differently. 

Ways they revert back to toddlers:

• They are more forgetful, and I can tell their minds are swirling. They’re starting to see the world through a different lens, and it’s hard to stop their brains from overthinking and comparing. 
• They can’t keep track of the little things. Between all their school stuff, sports stuff, beauty stuff, etc., it’s hard for them to keep track. We had a good run. 
• They cry more easily. They do not hold their emotions in. Which, honestly, I think is a good thing. My husband isn’t so sure, but the more they learn to express themselves safely, the better. I don’t care how small the issue may seem. It feels big to them.
• They have a lot of ‘why” questions. BIG “why” questions. I teach my kids to question everything and rely on faith, prayer, and intuition for answers. We don’t believe everything we hear or everything we are taught. I'm proud of their why questions, but realize I don’t have all the answers anymore. 
• They need their food made for them again. They went through an independent stage. But now it’s busier, and they need help with their food, what to eat to fuel, when to eat it, and no time to make it. 
• They want mama. I feel like I’m back in my nursing baby stage. My girls all want me so frequently, which I love. They have a great bond with dad, but forming their identity with me is so appropriate, but emotionally exhausting too. 
• Their faith runs deep. A toddler's faith is so beautiful. God is so big, so amazing, so miraculous. But I’ll be darn if that teen faith doesn’t mirror that. They NEED God so much because life feels heavy, lonely, and scary again. 

I always said when they were 5-11.5 years old, we were in the sweet spot. They had more independence, were great swimmers (a huge worry when they were little), helped out around the house more, and weren't too busy. I made their plans. At these ages, they don’t see the world for what it is and still fantasize a lot, which is a beautiful thing for children. Not to say every stage isn’t sweet. But when they’re super little, it’s physically exhausting, and the stage I’m in is emotionally exhausting as well as physically demanding for driving here, there, and everywhere on this side of the country. This stage is logistically demanding! Those middle years are so dang sweet I can almost taste them. Everyone home by 8, early bedtimes, lots of togetherness, chores actually finished because they have time – ahh, the good ole days. This ¾ of the way through parenting is so incredibly bittersweet. My emotions are hanging on by a thread, and every day feels like the most important day of their life. We only get so many years under our roof, and I’m so thankful for every moment, but goodness me if it doesn’t feel like the years are closing in on me. 

Someone told me years ago that ages 14 and 15 are the hardest. They need rides; they are insecure; they don’t perfectly fit in anywhere or everywhere at the same time; they are thinking about college; and they are not telling you everything. So many reasons this age feels hard. And at the same time, I have such an amazing relationship with my girls. They trust me, and I trust them. That’s more than I can say when I was that age. Y'all, I snuck around and would rebel any chance I got. I was still a good girl, but just barely. 😉

I wanted this segue to help y’all know where my heart is coming from in my next couple of posts. I plan to cover: eating disorders and recognizing the signs, and some other big, hard topics.  But guess what – raw and real Cara is back! 

One last thing I wanted to share…

As I’ve walked through these teenage years with my girls, I’ve realized how different this season might have felt if we moms had better language and understanding around hormones when we were younger. So much confusion, shame, and “pushing through” could have been replaced with compassion and support.

That’s part of why we created the Hormone Harmony Masterclasses—and why I often point other moms toward the Cycling class in particular. It’s a gentle, educational resource for girls and young women who are actively cycling and learning how their bodies work. Nothing extreme, nothing fear-based—just simple explanations, nutrition support, and lifestyle guidance that helps normalize what their bodies are doing.

If you’re raising a daughter who’s starting her cycle (or has been cycling for a while), this can be a really grounding way to open conversations and give her tools I wish we all had sooner. You can explore it here if it feels helpful:

Hormone Harmony Masterclass – Cycling Class

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is give our girls understanding—so they don’t have to feel disconnected from their bodies the way so many of us once did.