My Open Journal Entry

It’s interesting when life is flowing; we don’t always take a step back to appreciate it or acknowledge it. I’ve always encouraged journaling to help us take on the days and the moments and embrace the goodness of most days. The truth is, most of us have more good days than bad. It’s just that the bad has a higher rank than the good because it takes more energy to deal with. This is one of those weeks that, when I dissect, it’s been a thrill and a heartache. 

I’ve managed to keep up with my schedule this year and maintain a decent client load (though the waitlist continues to grow). It’s my nature to want to help people and know that I can help people. But my call to motherhood is much stronger than managing a client load or business success overall. But the tricky thing is, you really can’t just take off. I’ve been managing to clock work hours 7 days a week for a long time, mostly because I don’t have enough time during the school days to finish my workload, and it’s nice to catch up on weekends when I’m not being bombarded with emails, collaboration requests, and now all these Black Friday deals. I sometimes metaphorically dig a hole during these sale days and hide away. I’d rather pay full price than stress myself out on some deals, which may be a toxic trait of mine. The older I get, the more toxic traits I notice. Anyone else?

Today, I will share a bit about my week and then some journaling prompts that I will follow myself because I need to refocus, ground myself, and express gratitude. 

Monday, my work team and I got on one of the most exciting calls to date! We discussed the media and PR plan for my upcoming book release… more details are coming next week! We were super prepared, and what’s more exciting is that my publisher team, an imprint of Penguin Random House, was even more prepared than we were. I guess they must do this a lot. 😉

It just made the hard work of making the book come to life feel so incredibly worth it. It was a lot more work than my previous book, so I’m excited to know there is a lot of effort going into the presale and launch of this book. I pray it changes people’s lives in the most unexpected way. I told them I could care less about best sellers lists; I want it in the hands of those who need it.

We have such an epidemic of poor food choices, but not because people mean to, it’s because they don’t know. So what better way than to make my program accessible for less than 30 dollars in a beautiful hardback print? I got chills writing that. So join me in praying that this book reaches the people that need it. If it becomes a best seller, that would be cool, but it’s not my priority!

I can’t wait to share more information with you next week! It’s been three or more years in the making!

That joyful ride ended when I received a text from my husband around 7 pm on Wednesday saying that Mila had hurt her wrist badly. It was their first basketball game, and since it was 40 minutes away and our other two kids needed to be in different places, I decided not to go. I stayed home, took care of the other two, and anticipated the game I’d get to watch the very next day. But that didn’t happen. They got home, and we had to determine whether to go to the ER or wait until morning to go to our favorite ortho clinic.

As a parent, you know when something is wrong with your kids, and we often have premonitions before it happens, but we still can’t change the course of their journey. These teen years are already proving to be a rollercoaster, not for the reasons that anyone has warned me of. Their hormones are super stable and predictable, they are very kind, and we have a great relationship. But when you see them work incredibly hard, putting in 10-12 hours a week to reach their own goals that have nothing to do with you… for that to be crushed, it will break your heart. We all believe things happen for a reason, and there is always protection. But it’s hard, as a human, not to question or ask why.

My mother’s heart told me something was off. I told my youngest, I bet Mila will need me to sleep with her tonight, and Jojo said, “Why do you think that”? I said that I didn’t know, but I could tell she would need me. Still, there was nothing I could do to change what happened that night, even with intuition and premonition. Surrendering our kids to God’s plan will prove to be high and low. As I assessed her when she got home, I did all the sports injury tests I can remember from all my years of playing. Then I compared the two wrists, and the injured wrist had such a large lump that my stomach literally turned, and I had to go to the bathroom so I didn’t cry in front of her or lose my stomach on her. I wanted to stay calm to keep her calm.

We immediately got ice on her and the Lumebox, which she said helped with the pain. As a mom, it’s so hard not to feel the unbearable pain when our kids are suffering. It’s hard not to take those sufferings on for people we love. But the reality is that it is their journey, and it’s not meant for us to carry. As a believer, I have turned this week entirely over to God. These are some of the journaling prompts I have used for myself. 

What am I grateful for? It’s just her wrist, and she is just out for six weeks. Time will pass, and healing will happen, and that’s not the case for everyone. Volleyball and basketball will play out the way God intended—not the way that Cara intended. There is more comfort in that, anyway. 

What blessings do I see in the suffering? The doctor let us use a rigid brace over a cast because of the location and the fact that the growth plates are still open. She can shower normally, has more mobility, and doesn’t have to deal with the downside of a cast. God is shaping her heart to trust Him deeply.

Also, I see what huge improvements I’ve made to my nervous system. Besides the initial blow, I did not overreact or go into catastrophic mode. I saw the big picture almost immediately and didn’t even lose sleep over it. 

What can I do to support the situation? I can provide her extra love and support with healing tools and a mother’s touch—lots of hugs, lots of checking in, and her favorite foods. Feeling loved and supported moves us farther along in our healing than just being thrown the book at us.

Here are some additional journal prompts to use this coming week.

• What motivated me this week?

• Am I doing a good job resting when I need to?

• How can I support my mind today?

• What experience sticks out this week and why?

Sometimes, journaling is just talking to God, listing prayers, and sharing the cry of my heart in the moment. It’s a chance to clear my headspace and write down all the things that are looping in my mind. Prompts or no prompts, my paper gets filled up quickly with just trying to clear my mind. Winter is a great time to add to your daily journaling. 

I hope you all have had a great week!