Life Lately

I’m all in my Fall feelings over here. Fall is such a beautiful time of slowness and change, and boy, do I get reflective and emotional and yearn for less activity. If you’ve been having an itch to do something creative or write, now is a good season. 

Today, I just wanted to share with you all what’s been going through my mind lately.

Sometimes, I hesitate to be honest with you because I don’t want to upset people. One of my most toxic traits is trying to please others, and after all, I’ve built a community of people that I want to like me.😉 I don’t do labels and boxes, but if I did, I’m the enneagram that wants to be well-liked. I’m also lucky to have sisters. I can share the good, bad, and ugly daily and have built-in future besties with my daughters. Right now, I’m a Mom and available to be a friend if needed. Wow, just writing that made me teary-eyed. Having teen and tween girls is not for the faint of heart. It’s a new world of not sleeping because of the highs and the lows. 

Friends with teens and tweens who have three sisters are fascinating… I think about this a lot! I think my girls—14, 13, 11, and 9, don’t need friends like some girls do. Here’s my theory. They are four girls, with five years in between. There is always someone to connect with, hang with, talk to, complain to, fight with, etc. I notice my girls hate when friends treat them like sisters, meaning they do NOT want to fight or argue with friends… they just want to have fun. I teach them that not all friends have sisters close in age and that friendship looks a lot of different ways. I ask them not to judge and be open to whoever God brings into their life. AND OH, DO I ever threaten them to be kind and a reflection of God’s love. I tell them the worst thing I can ever hear about them is that they are rude or mean to others. We have zero tolerance for intentional meanness in our house. It saddens me when their efforts aren’t reciprocated, but at least they have their sisters and us.

Anyway, that was a tangent I didn’t mean to go on. There has been A LOT of unkindness in middle school, and it’s hard to talk through sometimes. I think most of us just wanna forget those days. But I want my girls to go through the fire and feel it, even if it’s a breakdown or tears. That’s a part of life, and it’s easier to deal with while you live at home than, say, when you’re a young adult living alone.

Since I’m entering new parenting territory, I aim to keep practicing underreacting when they tell me stuff. I should ask them questions and not bring my own insecurities, defensiveness, etc., into the conversation. Let’s just say it’s not easy for me. While I have sisters, I didn’t grow up with them… they’re 6 and 16 years younger than me. I didn’t always have someone to talk to, so seeing these feelings arise in me as we work through situations with them is interesting. My worst nightmare is my kids not telling me things because I overreact! So, I will try to stay calm and pray for wisdom because nobody can prepare you for parenting and the changes that occur so quickly in these middle school years.

Honestly, I don’t share that much personal stuff with you guys because I like to have a private life, but I think bits and pieces can really help connect us, and we’re all about connecting. Okay, so here it goes: I’m retiring! I will take a break from CCN and focus on my family…

JUST KIDDING.

Some days, I fantasize about selling everything, moving to a smaller house with more land, and homesteading/living off the land. But that is not my near future reality. When we moved from CA to TN, people said, “Won’t you miss the beach?!” I like the beach, but my dream is green pastures and rolling hills. I am always amazed at how much I encounter God when this is my view. So, while I will try to slow down in my head, there’s no slowing in real life soon. Thankfully, I’ve built a system that makes it easy to say no to anything after 2:30 pm when I return to Mom mode. I’m grateful I get to have the best of both worlds. 

I don’t know if you guys saw my IG story the other day, but the miracles I’m seeing and experiencing with our members, my clients, and my life are incredible. Pay attention to the miracles you encounter in the next few days and weeks. I sometimes ask in our private member group, but pleast drop a note below if there’s anything, big or small that I can pray for you… I’m in the mood to bless others with my prayer. Sending you all love! Thanks for letting me ramble today. I’m so grateful you’re here!