Feelings & Things

It’s been a doozy of a few weeks over here. My emotions have almost become too much for me. I nursed a 5-day headache this last week before I remembered all the things I knew to relax the body, mind, and so forth. I remembered that I had a full spectrum magnesium that supports all of those things. And 30 minutes after taking it, I finally had relief. Stress does crazy things to us, unexpected and often not noticed until manifested into worse. To say we have a lot going on would be an understatement, and when life becomes a lot, I need to remember how I know how to take care of myself, even when time isn’t on my side. 

I’m not going to get into the details, but I’ll say we’re in the process of choosing my daughter’s high school. There are lots of gray areas and waiting periods. Emotionally, any huge transition is a struggle for me. It usually lands me back into therapy or something similar. I haven’t figured out why I struggle so much with these changes because I can easily move towns, states, and houses. I can do a lot with ease, so why this crazy bittersweetness in motherhood? I’ll let you know when I figure it out. 😉

We’ve also been dealing with a lot of changes in the stage of life with my girl's ages and have had some deep conversations about what’s meant for us and what isn’t meant for us. We certainly were never promised a life without suffering or hardships. And I don’t desire to present life that way to my children. My husband and I are very open about real-world issues, relationships, highs and lows, and the truth. We are speaking our truth in our home, which is sometimes emotional. But we’ve been teaching our girls this is the way to live.

We’ve had hardships with friendships and things we thought were meant for us that have been pulled out from under us. I’ve been teaching my kids that if people are mean to you, they aren’t your friends. It’s not your job to get people to be nice to you. We can control many things, but we can NOT control how people treat us. We shouldn’t force ourselves on people that don’t like us, that don’t support us, that don’t elevate us. Sometimes, it’s hard to admit that someone is simply not your friend, but there is freedom in being honest with yourself and your loved ones.

This doesn’t just go for kids. As adults, we don’t have to be friends with people who don’t elevate us or at least align with us! The people we share our lives with are meant to be with ease and enjoyment. We have to know when to say when. 

It’s the same with life, really. We do this with many things. We force what we think we want, but then there might be a better plan that could elevate our lives. And it may take work and change to get there. You may even encounter some suffering through this process. But it’s important to believe that things do happen for a reason, and things happen for us, not to us. With this perspective shift, you will start to see the miracles in the moment. 

Another heightened happening this week, we had basketball playoffs, and I coach my younger girls’ teams. Both my littles had great seasons and were leaders amongst their peers, but their teams were the youngest in their leagues, so there is just a year less of experience they don’t have. Both teams lost in the semi-finals, which isn’t typical for the teams I coach or for my girls. My 8-year-old accepted the outcome and was still proud of herself. She believed me when I told her how proud I was of her and the rest of the team. On the other hand, through grit, sweat, and tears, my 10-year-old had a breakdown on the way home.

Nobody likes to lose, but the truth is, in sports, your last game almost always ends in a loss. It’s important to know how to cope with loss; it’s essential to let yourself feel all the emotions. So many of us are too composed for our good. Typically, composure can be a sign of internalizing or just not caring.  Almost every sound effect can help regulate our systems. I let her scream, groan, moan, and cry. I encouraged it! It’s one part of the process that many of us were not allowed growing up. By the time we arrived home, she was thanking God for her life and her sufferings.

I continually learn so much from my kids and spent a long time falling asleep thinking about how I can share this message that victory doesn’t always lie in the desired outcome but in the journey of growth. We are in a season of growth over here. It’s not easy. It’s distracting. It’s hurting my head. It’s time-consuming. But we are committed to the process. We are embracing the suffering so that it will be much sweeter when we embark on the next season. 

You may wonder where this is all coming from. My goal with Substack is to be transparent and share my heart more so that if you can relate, it will help you when a similar situation arises. Or maybe you can just get to know me better and know my heart and intentions when you trust me with your health!